I don't like complainers. I don't like
excuses. I don't like chronic laziness. People who show up late and
always have a story about why. People who seem to be plagued by
misfortune and can't see that the problem is them. Those people who
don't like cops because cops are always busting them for drunk
driving, drugs, or fill in the blank. People who have more trouble
telling the truth than they have telling a lie. And I especially do
not like people who tell you one thing, and tell everyone else
another.
You'd be surprised to know, however,
that their things that I do like. I like hard workers. I
like people who have been dealt a proverbial “bad hand” and don't
say a word, but simply push forward. I like pumpkin pie, a lot. I
like those who are hopeless optimists. I like those who have
unwavering faith. I like the humble. I like the confident. I like
people who above all else, say what they mean, and mean what they
say.
So I ask myself,
where do I fall?
P.S. I know it's a little deep, but
these are some of the things I think about while I'm sewing shirt
logos :)
Well, I like repeated phrases that set up a rhythm in the writing, phrases like 'I like' and 'people who.' Very effective.
ReplyDeleteThe PS almost works. It really is a framing device. We need it right up front at the beginning so we can picture you at work--and what's really going on inside as you sew. And then you can use the opening in some way to set up a strong close.
Right now, your real close (and it's a good one) is "So I ask myself, where do I fall." The PS just dribbles away the impression that makes. And it's no good arguing that PS means 'post script' which means 'after the writing'! If it's on the page, the writer has to answer for it!
So in a perfect world I'd either drop the PS or use the sewing as a frame.