The passenger train rumbled loudly into
the humid subway pulling a cloud of hot air with it. It stunk. My
mother, brother, and a family friend waited anxiously to jump on
board. There were people flooding down the staircase so as not to be
late. Around one hundred people waiting there at the edge of the
rails. I looked around and noticed that almost everyone had some
sort of Red Sox apparel on them, myself included. Apparently all of
us were heading to the same place.
“Look...at...all the people,” my
mother said in amazement.
“I know,” responded my brother
Kevin. “How are we all gonna fit?”
“You going to the game,” I asked to
a couple standing near us.
“Yeah!”
“Awesome. Apparently everyone else
is too,” I said laughing.
Another man standing behind them did
not appear to be going to the baseball game but offered some late
advice.
“You guys are leaving awful late.”
“Really?”
“Oh yeah. The game's in ten
minutes.”
“How long does it take to get there,”
I asked, now nervous that I might miss something.
“At least fifteen.”
“Oh well,” said my brother. “It
could be worse.”
It was easy for him to say. He wasn't
going to America's most beloved ballpark. I had asked him and our
friend if they wanted to go to the game while we were down on
vacation, but they both said no thanks. My brother said it would be
boring. I had tried my best to convince them but to no avail. My
brother, who, months later, nabbed a free pass to a Cincinnati Reds
game, would later tell me he wished he had come; that it wasn't
boring at all. “Oh well” is right.
The doors opened and the myriad of
faithful fans poured onto the train. We stepped on board but quickly
found no place to go. The train was filled and filled and filled,
until I knew precisely what the proverbial sardine can metaphor was
intended to convey.
I looked at some of the locals and saw
them nervously laughing as they observed what was becoming a
ridiculous situation. I was standing with my back to the very back
wall of the train. More and more people poured on, ending with a
group of very attractive South American girls. I thought to myself,
“well, it could be worse.” Yet suddenly, after spending the
entire day walking the Freedom Trail in the hot sun, my very next
thought was, “Oh man I stink!” As if in some magical never-land
world I'd somehow find the love of my life crammed in the back of
this train. The train lurched forward to the sound of squealing and
giggling passengers.
“Oh my gosh this train is packed!”
said one man next to us.
“We're all gonna die,” joked
another another.
The train struggled to pick up speed as
it turned the first corner that would take us west and up the back
bay. Loud screeching erupted from beneath us as the wheels and
breaks struggled to gain a hold of the tracks.
“We're gonna flip,” yelled out
someone up front.
“Hang on,” I said to my family.
As the train took one turn and then
another, stopping and starting again, you could not help but bump and
nudge everyone around you. Shoulder to shoulder doesn't quite
adequately describe it. One of the foreign girls in front of me was
not ready for the train to stop so suddenly and began to trip up
(though I doubt she would have reached the ground with so many people
stuffed in there). I reached out and gently grabbed her back as she
reached of and latched onto one of her friends arms. She looked back
for a just a second.
“Sorry,” she laughed as her friends
laughed with her, continuing their conversation in Spanish.
Like I said, it could have been worse.
Though no one may have actually said it
without joking a little, I think everyone on that train believed that
we could have derailed on our way to the field. Even the locals
looked a little concerned. The train came to a stop and the
multitude pour out of the car and into the subway. Some jokingly
gasped for air. We jumped off and followed the crowds up the steps,
onto the street, across the bridge, and onto the hallowed street of
Yawkee Way. The man back at the train was right. We were a
little late. And we had been crammed on a subway train that had
almost derailed. But yet, as I looked up at the beautiful sign
hanging over the one hundred plus year brick doorway that read:
“Fenway Park”, I again thought to myself, “It could be worse.
I could be a Yankee fan.”
I handed my ticket to the doorman and
walked into ecstasy.
That's nice stuff! Especially welcome this year (if you'd written it in September 2012 or 2011, I might not be so happy to read it...) Whatever happens from here on, they own the East and they showed the world, not to mention the pathetic, overpaid, overrated, overestimated , ridiculous frippin 2013 Yankees. I'm still hoping for 100 wins!
ReplyDeleteNow that we have that out of the way, let's get back to the writing. I'd say it's a triple--good ear for dialogue nicely balanced with inner monologue, exceptional feeling for scene and description.
What keeps it from being a tater, a four-bagger? I'd say the stuff about your brother not going, thought it would be boring, etc is a distraction, so that this piece scrapes the wall, generates a big cheer, but does not quite leave the park.
Newman pulls into third with a stand-up triple!
Thanks. In hindsight, I totally see your point about the brother part. I would have to maybe transform the explanation of his situation into dialogue maybe? Not sure if that would cross that creativity line :)
ReplyDeleteTurning exposition into dialogue is extremely tricky--the reader tends to see the writer's hand working and be a bit offended that the writer is so obvious. Why not forget (for this piece) your brother altogether--and frankly, if he is not a Boston fan, you might have to consider forgetting him permanently.
ReplyDelete